There's a few things I haven't told you
And before you hear them from someone else
To clear up misconceptions
I'd rather tell you myself
There was a time

I rode a roller coaster
From Coney Island to Key West
I held on with one finger
So the other ten could rest
It may be hard to believe
Hard to comprehend
But baby, you didn't know me when

I played third chair trombone
In an out-of-work polka band
We looked for gigs on ships
In countries that had no land
It may be hard to believe
We hit the top ten
But baby, you didn't know me when

If you want a resume I'll put it in writing
It's only good for a day and the contents are frightening

I gave long-winded speeches
I was a head-of-state
I wrote an endless novel
Called See Jane Love And Hate
It may be hard to believe
I'm reticent